“I am no longer a slave to fear.
I am a child of God.”
[dropcap]W[/dropcap]hile we are singing and praying, I hear the small voice next to me singing the song louder and louder. I watch her. My heart is filled with so many mixed feelings when I see her singing this with her eyes closed and tears falling from her eyes.
She has been in our Shelterhouse for a few months now. It is not the first time she has fled from her pimp, but this time she is determined to break with him, and with her past. The best way to break away is to start to give herself, her soul, her life to God. She knows He can free her completely from every chain and let her live in freedom.
It is easier said than done. Bondage of living in the dark for ages is very strong: the addiction to sex and to the attention of men, having gotten used to living in luxury, and the feeling of being special in the eyes of the man she adores. She still refuses to admit he is her pimp, although she has the facts of being sold out as a sex slave daily for over 12 years.
Step by step she is breaking free. Following the path towards freedom through spiritual, social and psychological guidance she is receiving from Cherut. Although she is fighting her demons, we can see that she is breaking free. We watch her grow with great anticipation.
“One more year from now, and she will be able to live independently, taking care of herself and her children,” we tell each other in the team. This is what we hope and pray for this beautiful soul.
But then, not ready for it, she meets with her pimp again. Too soon in the process, he got out of jail and she fell for him. Again. Blinded by her love for him, she followed the man, who we knew would force her into prostitution again.
Let go and let God…
It hurts when one of our girls, as we see them, goes back to her past and to her pimp. We have to let go, let her go. But inside of me, and all of us, there is this faith that God is not letting go. Our work and prayers with her were not in vain. He will wait for her and bring her back out of prostitution and darkness into the light, His Light. Let go and let God… Sometimes it looks like we have worked hard with someone and it has all been for nothing. But the stage she went through was necessary. The next stage is not for now, but for a later time and maybe another caregiver or shelterhouse, but is in God’s control.